Memo To Charlie Manuel

OK Charlie, I can't take this anymore. You need to get Jimmy Rollins out of the leadoff spot. Not soon, not in a couple of games...NOW!!! I honestly don't understand the manner in which you are handling him.

Look, Charlie, Rollins has been a piece of crap this season while batting leadoff. It's just that simple. Every game seems like an 0-for-4. And what's worse, you keep falling into the same pattern. Rollins stinks it up for a few weeks in a row, and then you drop him down in the batting order. Rollins then gets some hits, and immediately you restore him into the leadoff spot. The first time you did it, I could understand it. But this week, when you dropped Rollins down into the sixth spot in the order and he collected 5 hits in two games, I begged, pleaded, and implored you to keep him there for a while. Leave well enough alone, I was saying. And you put him back in the leadoff spot after those two games. What has Rollins done since Wednesday, when you put him back into the leadoff role? Rollins has gone 1-for-20. One for freaking twenty! In his last 11 games, Rollins has 8 hits, and 5 of them were in that two-game stretch where he was the #6 hitter.

Rollins is your worst everyday hitter right now, Charlie, and nobody else is even in the discussion. I don't know why, but he is. The .221 batting average is one thing (hey, a guy like Carlos Pena shows that you can give value to your fantasy owners with a low average), but the .326 slugging percentage and .582 OPS are downright pathetic. If moving him down in the order is the only way to get him motivated to hit, then you need to do it and leave him the hell there. And for two weeks this time, not two days. And then if he doesn't hit from the sixth spot, move him to seventh. And then eighth, if necessary.

Trust me, Charlie. I know what I'm talking about. I guarantee you that if you do this, it will work. Now listen to me this time!

Seriously, I know you are frustrated, Rollins owners. As a Rollins owner, I know that I can't take it anymore, and I am going to pick up the best available second baseman or shortstop on the waiver wire, and play Alexei Ramirez at whichever position is left, and bench Rollins. I actually did that earlier in the year, and I'm going to do it again. Just don't trade him, Rollins owners, because you know that as soon as you do that, dude will start to hit and you'll feel like you just went for a colonoscopy. And it's a long season, so he is bound to get hot at some point (I think). Don't cut ties with the guy, but feel free to sit him down for a while.